He let go of me. “It’s just like what you said to me last week. We’re both almost there, we just gotta believe in ourselves. You’ve got Annie Ross, I’ve got Mike Sampson. Both of them are out for themselves, but our job isn’t to let them win, our job is to protect ourselves and get what we want.”
He got really serious. “You helped me a lot with that last week when I was struggling, and look at me, I’ve made the first couple cuts. I’m still here when everyone thought I’d be out on the street by now. It’s all because of you, do you understand?”
That sounded so nice coming from him. It sounded like exactly what I wanted him to say, exactly what I needed him to say.
But still, I couldn’t help but feel like this might not be the right path for me. “I’m still not sure…”
“How can I convince you?”
CHAPTER 22 - DRAKE
“You’ll figure it out,” I said. “I know you will.”
Lily thought about that for a few moments. “We still haven’t done today’s interview, you know.” I had wanted to say so much more just now. I had wanted to tell her that she couldn’t give up, and not just because she was so close, but because I needed her around. I needed her to be there, not just for her sake.
But for mine too. But I couldn’t say that, not quite yet. For now it had to be a secret. I wasn’t ready to open myself up like that so soon.
I leaned back, glad she wanted to change the subject. “I know, why do you think I was pounding on your door like that? I can’t go a day without those interviews. I have…actually started to like them.”
“You have?”
“Yeah, it’s a good way to think about the day and how I’ve done, and how my journey is going. It’s also a neat look into public relations, which I’m gonna need a lot of when my career takes off.”
“Wow, big head much? You seem pretty full of yourself all over again.”
I made a huge show of pulling out one of my biceps and kissing it, noisily. “When you got it this good, Lily, it pays to plan ahead.”
“Asshole,” she smiled as she poked me.
“Guilty as charged.”
“At least you admit it.”
“Yeah, so the interview. I really do like those.”
“I’m still surprised to hear that, considering you say less and less each time we do one.”
I threw up my hands in mock consternation. “Patriots programming, what can I do? It’s in the water around here. You say nothing to the media of any substance ever.”
“Oh, I’ve gotten pretty good at decoding it in the last couple weeks. You’ve seen the daily columns.”
“Wait, you’re acknowledging that I can read?” I fanned myself. “My word! Today is a good day.”
“Jerk.” She hit me again, but this time I caught her swing. “OK, let’s do something a little different for today’s interview.”
“Go for it.”
She turned to face me, sitting cross-legged in front of me. “I want to hear the full story, the real inside dope.”
“I don’t know what you mean. You ask me the questions, and I answer them.”
“Yeah, yeah,” she waved that away. “This one will be off the record, and trust me, I’ll write it as an extension of my own observations.”
I was a little hesitant. “OK, that sounds good, but bear in mind I’m not going to talk about things I’m not allowed to talk about. Just so we’re clear.”
“Alright. Do you think you’re going to make the team?”
I blinked, stunned that she would go for the jugular like that so quickly. “You mean, for real?”
“Of course for real. No posturing, no Patriot Way. Just give me the real stuff.”
I sat back and tried to wrap my head around that question, and form an answer. “I’m doing better this week than last week. But I still have a ways to go.”
She nodded. “That’s what my take has been too. I think you’re still on the bubble, but since you survived the last couple cuts, things are looking OK. But you’re not out of the woods yet.”
I shook my head. “You’re right. Still got a ways to go.”
Lily leaned in. “Now to the more important question. Are you ready?”
“Ready as I’ll ever be.”
“Do you still want to play football professionally?”
I laughed. “Uh, yeah, I do, why else would I be doing this if I didn’t?”
“Don’t answer too quickly, Drake, this is important. Why do you still want this? Is it for the money? You’re a smart guy, you can make a ton of money using that brilliant mind of yours.”
I thought about it for a few seconds. “No, not just for the money. I want to do it so I can prove to everyone who ever doubted that I could.”
She frowned, clearly not satisfied with that answer. “Is that the only reason?” she asked, softly.
“That’s a pretty good reason, I think. Why? Do I need a better one?”
She turned away, making it look like our interview was done just as quickly as it had begun. “That’s all I got for you this time.”
Now I frowned. “Wait a second, there’s something more, isn’t there?”
She turned back to face me. “I just wish you’d believe in yourself a little more, you know. Don’t do things because you want to prove everyone else wrong. Do it because you believe in yourself, because you want to see just how far you can go.”